Spry Soul Gifts

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Cat Tie

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'It's baseball season!'

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

Frizzbee statue.

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

Cheerleaders

'That one's going to be a klutz.'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'My girl friend wants me to put my inner child back inside where he belongs.'

Shoe repair

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

Bunny Pranks

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

"Ladies, you know the rule about joyriding."

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

Monster Horrorscopes

The Most Interesting Dog in the World. . .

"Lisa, your playdate is here!"

Introverted Chair

Face painting - children have no faces

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

Like, Real Gone...

Snowballs!

'Sure, I am usually old and wise, but with you my boy, I just love to be silly!'