Spry Soul T-Shirts

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Cat Tie

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'It's baseball season!'

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

Cheerleaders

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'That one's going to be a klutz.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

'My girl friend wants me to put my inner child back inside where he belongs.'

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

Shoe repair

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Monster Horrorscopes

"Lisa, your playdate is here!"

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

Face painting - children have no faces

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

Introverted Chair

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

Like, Real Gone...

Snowballs!

'Sure, I am usually old and wise, but with you my boy, I just love to be silly!'

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

"He pretends to throw the stick. I pretend to chase it . Is that normal?"