Sober Soul T-Shirts

"I am as sober as a judge, but I will need you to blow into this to prove it."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

'That one's going to be a klutz.'

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

The Sensitive Dude.

Introverted Chair

"Harry, you're beginning to go to seed!"

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"Alright! Fine! ONE man is an island!"

Monster Horrorscopes

'Sure, I am usually old and wise, but with you my boy, I just love to be silly!'

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

"It's okay. I'm still ranked at the top of my class in self-esteem."

'It's so beautiful, yet fragile. Safe, yet vulnerable. More precious than any star in the heavens.'

"Did I miss something?"

"I think I'll sleep in tonight!"

"Don't worry about me. I'm the late bird."

'Be sure to eat every bite — the chef is a very sensitive guy.'

'Is the thrill worth the chance of wiping out and getting (shudder) wet?'

"You name it, and he had a donor card for it."

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

Look Enlightened - Here comes the Guru.

Extrovert/Introvert.

"Thanks for the interview. And, you're definitely on my shortlist."

Drink kills.

'No, we may NOT have a karaoke night!'