Speedy Soul T-Shirts

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Cat Tie

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'It's baseball season!'

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

Cheerleaders

In case of funky emergency, break glass

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'That one's going to be a klutz.'

'My girl friend wants me to put my inner child back inside where he belongs.'

Shoe repair

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

"Lisa, your playdate is here!"

Face painting - children have no faces

Monster Horrorscopes

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

Snowballs!

'Sure, I am usually old and wise, but with you my boy, I just love to be silly!'

Like, Real Gone...

"He pretends to throw the stick. I pretend to chase it . Is that normal?"

Pets: Three Puppies try to charm man through pet shop window.

Attack of the dreaded 'Pantsing' sharks.