Zesty Soul T-Shirts

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Cat Tie

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Dog in Daisys

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

'It's baseball season!'

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

Cheerleaders

In case of funky emergency, break glass

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

Mad For It

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

Shoe repair

'My girl friend wants me to put my inner child back inside where he belongs.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Monster Horrorscopes

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"It's always a good time to have a good time!"

"Lisa, your playdate is here!"

Face painting - children have no faces

"Ey, Zoltan! Come in and fiddle around in here tonight."