Spreadsheet Wrangler Gifts

Accounting department - Number crunching.

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Storm in the out tray

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Organization is not rocket science!

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

A trevor of trainspotters

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'

IRS Audits. That's your fourth "honest" mistake in a row!

InIn by-products.

But under a different accounting convention ...

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

End of Year Figs.

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

'Ah, the Bermuda Rectangle for files.'

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'