Sprawl Strategist Gifts

'I remember when all this was fields.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

Project Manager Showdown

'I would like to return this chart. It didn't perform up to our expectations.'

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

'Wish you would've warned me about this. I hate getting ambushed.'

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

"Oh stop it. You know perfectly well that before every battle the enemy shouts things at us that we may find offensive."

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

Member of two trade unions

'I think we should budget on the number of budgets we draw up'

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

'C'mon, it's only up to your knees!'

Battle.

"I think we should have used catapults before ground forces"

"I see many military victories, a heroic death and a grateful nation that will erect in your honor a statue that will be dirtied by pigeons every day, once and again."

Unison plans strikes

'Is it labor day already?'

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

"Any cocktail can be a shrimp cocktail if you just set your mind to it, and if you carry lots of loose shrimp in your pocket."

"The Toast Whisperer"

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."