Spouse With A Dog Pillows

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

A large leaf falling on a dog

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Canine Scentipede

'They're dog roses!'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

But it's the other leg that hurts.

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

Dog History

Dog Sees Only Food

"He ran out of pee."

When Dogs Rule

'I've finally learned to delegate.'

'He took a fetching class.'

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

"Fetch! What about a please?"

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

Mischievous Pets

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

"So far, I've taught him to fetch."

'It's a nine-to-five job, but most of it we spend napping.'

Dog's Sandwich

'No doubt about it - he'd make a lovely Home Guard dog!'

"Very Funny."

Distracted dog walker.

"Don't you have a snooze button?"