Spouse With A Dog Pillows

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

A large leaf falling on a dog

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Canine Scentipede

'They're dog roses!'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

But it's the other leg that hurts.

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

When Dogs Rule

"He ran out of pee."

Dog Sees Only Food

Dog History

'I've finally learned to delegate.'

'He took a fetching class.'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"Fetch! What about a please?"

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

"So far, I've taught him to fetch."

Mischievous Pets

'It's a nine-to-five job, but most of it we spend napping.'

Dog's Sandwich

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

'No doubt about it - he'd make a lovely Home Guard dog!'

Distracted dog walker.

"Very Funny."

"Don't you have a snooze button?"