Sportswear Satirist Gifts

'I'm sorry, sir, but be have specific instructions from your wife not to sell you a speedo.'

"And that's why I avoid moisture-wicking sportswear."

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Emergency Hipster Beard

The Golfing Accident

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'Have you any W fronts?'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

The solitude of bean farming appealed to the ex-ballplayer after his fall from grace.

Racketeer

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

Phone Mittens

Loser's Podium.

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'