Sports Wrangler Gifts

'Objection, overruled. I'm going to allow that intentional brushback. But I'm warning you, counselor, you're treading on thin ice.'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

Women shopping with children in the trolley.

"Fred's a man for all seasons. The lawn still needs mowing but he's set for leaf blowing."

"Hitch up your horse, Tex. It's time for lunch."

'Ever wish we were back on Wall Street?'

Happy Birthday MUM!

Snow machine spitting out kids toys left under the snow.

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

'But we can't go to Australia for our honeymoon, you know how my Mother hates flying!'

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

'Take the camera and record the stockholders' revolt. If I can turn the situation around, it will be a milestone in my career and part of the folklore of my leadership.'

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

'There goes the scourge of this county.'

"Looks like we'll be walking today. The horses are staging a sit in."

Sales Clerk tricks woman into an instant merchandise exchange.

"Here, I'll call the credit department for you...you might wanna push 'seven' on here."

OK Corral.

'Dealing with the snow would be a lot easier if you organized it like a business, Joe...It's just a matter of employing time management and utilizing readily available green technology.'