Sports Observer Gifts

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"I AM at my usual position."

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

Glance Exchange

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

State Budget.

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Watching the football.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"What are you doing?"

What if Huckabee Were a Fundamentalist Hindu?

Upon graduation, all of the clowns would gather to find out where their assignments would be.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"On the one hand, I'm glad they're cutting the school year short...on the other hand..."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

Millionaire trapped in the body of a bum. Please help correct the situation. ?

Yanis Varoufakis and Wolfgang Schauble

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"People think the government has a bottomless pit of money....but sometimes we have to make sacrifices!"

Nervous at a party.

"I beg your pardon," said Alice, "but which of you is the Democrat?"