Sports Narration Buff Pillows

"He's got the ball, he's at the 30, the 20, the 10, he's running past the end zone, he's leaving the stadium..."

Golfing Boss

Bowled over again!

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Vendor selling testosterone.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

The Boys of Indian Summer

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Will that be coach?'

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

Kick! Go for it!

Glenn Hoddle

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

Arch of Triumph Save

The Puck Stops Here.

'To protect their investments, many baseball owners are hiring bodyguards for their players.'

'And once again it's ended in a tie.'

'... Yeah, now I'm starting to feel it, too. ... Sort of a tightness in my neck...'

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

Free Speech has heavy price.

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

The Washington Arbitrators