Sports Storyteller Pillows

"He made the big money, fast cars, lotsa dames... then, one day he hit the skids... lost it all!"

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

"I'm sure everyone in the restaurant is in awe of your bowling trophy, but, next time, leave it at home!"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

The Boys of Indian Summer

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

"Are you pleased to see me or is that a vuvuzela down your trousers?"

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'