Sports Storyteller Gifts

"He made the big money, fast cars, lotsa dames... then, one day he hit the skids... lost it all!"

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

"I'm sure everyone in the restaurant is in awe of your bowling trophy, but, next time, leave it at home!"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

Sloth 10K.

"Getting the hang of it?"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

The Hockey World

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

The Boys of Indian Summer

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

'Okay, who knows how to solve for 'X'?'