Football Storyteller Gifts

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"Great news! Jim at work's promised to lend me all his World Cup DVDs"

'Okay, who knows how to solve for 'X'?'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

"A three letter word. . . all powerful colloquially known as 'the man upstairs'."

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

Football Bomb

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'Remember young brave to always face evil without fear...To have our tribe on foam and underwear!'

Free Speech has heavy price.

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

'But I don't mean to bite people...they just get caught in my teeth.'

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

"This is the story of the Three Liitle Pigskins and the Big Bad Wolf!"

Footballers - Jamie Redknapp

David Beckham

After review, the replay confirms a touchdown, and also that big, jiggly bellies look hilarious in slow motion.

If at first you don't succeed, deflate the football.

Sara Carbonero Arévalo

"The truth is, Kevin, a long time ago your grandfather hit a triple and thats how we got to third base."

Marcus Rashford

'Hey! Not fair!'

"What sports fan are you?"

'I'm sure that last ball was lbw.'

Hi! You must be a basketball player,'cause Mom says she's on the rebound!

'If it makes you feel any better, when I was your age, bullies used to put a 'Kick Me' sign on my back, too.'

'Nesbitt will do all our Monday morning quarterbacking.'

"Long ago men cursed and beat the ground with sticks. It was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf."