Sporting Storyteller Gifts

"Long ago men cursed and beat the ground with sticks. It was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf."

Marcus Rashford

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

"It's 'Knute the Terrible' now, Bob, but, after November, I hope it's congressman 'Knute the Terrible'."

Football Crazy strip two

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

Wall of Office Memories

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

'Okay, who knows how to solve for 'X'?'

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'

Another reason why people who are married should never co-anchor the news.

Turning a business graph around to get a positive reading.

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

Track & Field & Stream magazine

'Reckless Rick has already lost three matches this year, but rumor has it that he's looking for a new writer...'

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

Joe shoots his best scores with his graphite shaft!

'It's a rags-to- riches story. You should take the company tour.'

Passionate about Football.

"The truth is, Kevin, a long time ago your grandfather hit a triple and thats how we got to third base."

"Other script ideas? Of course! I've been working on one about a killer plant and only your family and a lamp can stop it."

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

No caption (A ball boy crouches by the net on a ping pong table as a game is being played).

"Oh this, this is in case I see a rabbit on the fairway."