Sporting Storyteller Gifts

"Long ago men cursed and beat the ground with sticks. It was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf."

Marcus Rashford

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

"It's 'Knute the Terrible' now, Bob, but, after November, I hope it's congressman 'Knute the Terrible'."

Football Crazy strip two

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

Wall of Office Memories

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'

Another reason why people who are married should never co-anchor the news.

Turning a business graph around to get a positive reading.

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

'Reckless Rick has already lost three matches this year, but rumor has it that he's looking for a new writer...'

Track & Field & Stream magazine

'It's a rags-to- riches story. You should take the company tour.'

Joe shoots his best scores with his graphite shaft!

Passionate about Football.

"Oh this, this is in case I see a rabbit on the fairway."

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

"Other script ideas? Of course! I've been working on one about a killer plant and only your family and a lamp can stop it."

"The truth is, Kevin, a long time ago your grandfather hit a triple and thats how we got to third base."

'I get the feeling that he isn't a team player...'

The Club Singles Duel.

'Anybody here not in favor of obscene profits?'

'Look, enough about me... let's talk about my golf swing.'