Cricket Storyteller Gifts

'I'm sure that last ball was lbw.'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

'The only New Year's resolution he's still got intact is not to watch the England cricket team in Australia on television.'

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

"It's the dog."

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

'Our village cricket club' - Young spinner cleverly positions the field to take a wicket.

'Tarzan'

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

CCTV

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

"Well, team-sports are rather difficult to organise around here: Just keep practising your bilboqiet Darling..."

Cricket ball deliveries

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

'Not so easy, is it?'

"The truth is, Kevin, a long time ago your grandfather hit a triple and thats how we got to third base."

Match-fixing (cricket)

"There's another thing - d'you realise it's over forty-three years since I took my last wicket?"

'Well kiddo, I'm proud to say that in all my years of service, I've never lost a sheep...'

"Other script ideas? Of course! I've been working on one about a killer plant and only your family and a lamp can stop it."