Sports Narration Buff Mugs

"He's got the ball, he's at the 30, the 20, the 10, he's running past the end zone, he's leaving the stadium..."

Golfing Boss

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Vendor selling testosterone.

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

The Boys of Indian Summer

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Will that be coach?'

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Arch of Triumph Save

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

'And once again it's ended in a tie.'

'... Yeah, now I'm starting to feel it, too. ... Sort of a tightness in my neck...'

'Personal Fowl, number 83...'

Free Speech has heavy price.

Man thinking about playing football and a convertible car

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

The Washington Arbitrators