Sports Comedies Fan Gifts

Getting rid of the opposition.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'Here we go again...'

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

The best goalie in the world!

Pole Vault Rules

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

Golf escape.

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

'The Ref gave out 4 yellow cards, 2 reds and 7 Valentine cards.'

The Puck Stops Here.