Sports Comedy Fan Gifts

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

Golf escape.

Mixing Baseball and Football

"I feel like I play better on clay."

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

'Time is running out - shoot! Everyone is starting to keel over and die!!'

'Yes, you caught me at a bad time.'

Footballers claiming to have the umpire in a bag.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'Good news, Vince. I found a group that's willing to play as a foursome.'

"What the hell...I can always play another ball."

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'No doubt about it... serves are MUCH faster these days!'

Am I near the ball?

Collegiate dirt polo.

footballer missing football.

'I need someone who can go in there and bang some bodies around.'

'I may have lost, but I gave as good as I got.' 'Yes, indeed. We saw you beating the hell out of the referee.'

Athlete with huge thighs with faces and mouths.

'CSI: Basketball.'

False starts.

"That's the third ball he's burst with his headers!"

Two people fencing one says: 'Toupee!'

'Bad hop! Walk it off, babe, walk it off.'

"And would it kill you to put some pizzazz into it?"

Sports update: Some teams won and some teams lost.

Race starter shooting Cameraman with starting gun

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"What a stupid call! He was safe!! It's all lies! You're blind! Fake news!"

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'