Comedy Sports Fan Gifts

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

Golf and tennis.

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Andrew tried everything to avoid getting sacked. He tried staying in the pocket. He tried rolling out of the pocket...

Brazil vs Germany

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Alternative fielding positions

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Pole Vault Rules

'Here we go again...'

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

The best goalie in the world!

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

Golf escape.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."