Sports Administrators Gifts

'We've closed this section down. In all the time no-one has ever tested positive.'

Meanwhile, down on the Plantation. . . .

The MBA Draft

Go team!

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

'We're looking for athletic people.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

The Hockey World

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Egyptian Football

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

Input From The Front Office

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

The Unsportables: Javelin Throw

Pole Vault Rules

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'