Sportosaurus Rex Gifts

Football Dinosaur

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

Golf Clubs Underwater.

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Parson and abandoned husband

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

Revenge Graffiti.

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

Generation Ex.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

'Mother will catch you!'

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"I'm not a vindictive person, Charles. When your chickens do come home to roost I hope they're free range chickens."

'Your ex is calling. Her investment club bought 51 of the company, and you're fired!'

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

"According to the statistics in this article, you should be my ex-husband and be three months behind in alimony payments."

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."