Sportosaurus Rex Pillows

Football Dinosaur

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

Golf Clubs Underwater.

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

Parson and abandoned husband

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, sister? People were right: Now that gay people in all 50 states can marry, it's destroyed marriage altogether. My husband Larry just left me and moved in with Earl the plumber. First of all, ma'am, I'm pretty sure you have no idea how these things work. The supreme court gave Larry the gay. How do I undo the gay?

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

"According to the statistics in this article, you should be my ex-husband and be three months behind in alimony payments."

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"I'm not a vindictive person, Charles. When your chickens do come home to roost I hope they're free range chickens."

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

'Mother will catch you!'

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

'Your ex is calling. Her investment club bought 51 of the company, and you're fired!'

"I'm sorry, Jon, but Henry's perfect. Not only does he make me laugh, he makes me omelets, and he makes me come."

Revenge Graffiti.

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!