Retired Sportsman Pillows

'Would you care for a number three cane, Mr Nicklaus?'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"I quit."

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

'Mother will catch you!'

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

I got my bad back from an old football injury.

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

"I'm retired actor Daniel Day Lewis. They thought I was I was good. They don't know how good."

"I once loved a parade."

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Shooting - No. III

"You've still got it Joao."

'Yes, it is last year's hunting license, but I'm only hunting the ones I missed last year.'

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

The weight of winning gold.

Bernard Hinault

Fighting CEO's of Fenton Business College.

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, open sesame!"

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

Need to celebrate? we will pour ice water on you, only $27.50!

Concerned mother mistaking cricke pads for swollen legs

Making Things Pleasant.

Where are they now? Paul Henderson.