Retired Runner Pillows

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"I quit."

'We decided to get out and spend the kids inheritance. Unfortunately they insisted on coming with us!'

I got my bad back from an old football injury.

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

Where are they now? Paul Henderson.

Rugby golden oldies.

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

Fred found he got more exercise when jogging while listening to a gramophone than an iPod.

(Retired) Jockeying for position.

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

Old man dusting bodybuilding trophies.

Retirement became the obvious decision.

The circular nature of running wear.

'The golden parachutes are all gone. You'll have to settle for a golden lifejacket.'

"So, what did you used to do?"

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

'Harvest moon'

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

Helium Parachute

'At the Old Players' Home. . .

'Who's idea was it to run backwards to Christmas for charity?'