Sport Collision Aficionado Gifts

"I'll need a three iron."

The first car accident.

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

The hall of bad ideas.

Fox hunting.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Football.

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

Soccer player being showered with toilet roles and a toilet.

'Fantastic!Stupendous!Masterly!Mind blowing!Polished!Unbeatable!Amazing!Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'