Sport Collision Aficionado Gifts

"I'll need a three iron."

The first car accident.

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

Football.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Fox hunting.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

The hall of bad ideas.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"

Soccer player being showered with toilet roles and a toilet.

'Fantastic!Stupendous!Masterly!Mind blowing!Polished!Unbeatable!Amazing!Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

World Cup Fan.

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

U.S. World Cup Frenzy

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

'Number 20 is up. His batting average is 320 and his drug tests are negative.'