Spoon Player Admirer Pillows

'Play Beethoven's Fifth and this ten pence piece is all yours!'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Soup of the month.

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

Magic Tricks

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

"Beats me. They put up the sign and went to their panic room."

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'I'm Bored'