Spooky Stories Gifts

"Oh there, you are - I just spent three hours talking to a sheet draped over a chair."

Evil Villain.

"Okay, next party we skip the ice."

Out To Lurch

Listening Room - Enter At Your Own Risk.

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

'I knew you'd like it. It was ranked #1 in 100 Wines You Must Try After You Die.'

Grim reaper gets his scythe sharpened.

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

Ghost School.

'You've burnt the ghoulash!'

Love at First Sight

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Chiller Theatre

Silence of the Chickens...

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

"What are you kids going to be for Halloween?"

Scary stuff

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

Tim Burton

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

'It's been murder since it was announced that eyes of newt might be a cancer cure.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'