Spooky Stories Gifts

"Oh there, you are - I just spent three hours talking to a sheet draped over a chair."

Evil Villain.

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

If he had a nightmare, let him crawl in bed with us. Ok. But we don't have children.

"Okay, next party we skip the ice."

Out To Lurch

Listening Room - Enter At Your Own Risk.

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

'I knew you'd like it. It was ranked #1 in 100 Wines You Must Try After You Die.'

Grim reaper gets his scythe sharpened.

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

Ghost School.

'You've burnt the ghoulash!'

Love at First Sight

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Chiller Theatre

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Silence of the Chickens...

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

Scary stuff

"What are you kids going to be for Halloween?"

Tim Burton

Ghost puddle

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

Halloween Support Group

'There's an imposter among us!'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'