Spooky Skeleton Gifts

'Take some more. You need the calories.'

A skeleton in a Tattoo parlor getting the skeleton's version of the Skull and crossbones

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Home depot."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Punkins

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

Classic Emojis for sale.

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

Monster Horrorscopes

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

Satan

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

'I have to disappoint you Mrs Robinson, today is not Halloween.'

"This will be painful, so I was hoping I could record your blood-curdling screams to be used at my Halloween party."

Rational explanations

"Would you guys shut up and let me watch the game?"

"I want to make it with you."

"Any word yet on FDA approval?"

Morgue.

Witches

Ghost and Skeleton Selfie

Vampire

'I'm going back as a ghost. It's time to give something back to the community.'

No Guts. No Gory

"We're not the type of ghosts he's afraid of. It's ghosting from the person he met on that dating site that he's afraid of."

Bad vibes next 3 miles.

Dracula Flipping Frankenstein a Bat

'Take no notice, it's only the poltergeist. He does it for attention.'

"It was a hot, humid night and he was floating around in the dark and didn't hear it!..."

Transylvania Weather Channel. Your Host: Igor. Great vampire weather as the sun sets early! As an added bonus, the moon will be full for all you werewolves... Patches of fog will make it delightful for scaring victims .....