Spooky Friend Gifts

"Not 'texting,' Ma'am. 'Hexing' while driving."

"Home depot."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

Tim Burton

Classic Emojis for sale.

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

Date Night

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"He's right―there is something under the bed!"

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

Frankenstein's Ancestry

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Monster Baseball

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

Born of the Dead

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Tupperware Wolf

Creepy Camp Stories.

"Trick or treat?"

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

Halloween sculptor