Spooky Friend T-Shirts

"Not 'texting,' Ma'am. 'Hexing' while driving."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Home depot."

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

Tim Burton

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Classic Emojis for sale.

Date Night

"He's right―there is something under the bed!"

Frankenstein's Ancestry

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Monster Baseball

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

Born of the Dead

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

"Trick or treat?"

Halloween sculptor

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

Creepy Camp Stories.

Monster Realtor

Tupperware Wolf