Spooky Skeleton Pillows

'Take some more. You need the calories.'

A skeleton in a Tattoo parlor getting the skeleton's version of the Skull and crossbones

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Home depot."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Classic Emojis for sale.

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

Monster Horrorscopes

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

Satan

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

'I have to disappoint you Mrs Robinson, today is not Halloween.'

Rational explanations

"This will be painful, so I was hoping I could record your blood-curdling screams to be used at my Halloween party."

"Would you guys shut up and let me watch the game?"

"I want to make it with you."

Morgue.

Vampire

"For trick or treating, I'm dressing up as Billy Graham and going witnessing door-to-door."

Witches

'I'm going back as a ghost. It's time to give something back to the community.'

Bad vibes next 3 miles.

Ghost and Skeleton Selfie

"It was a hot, humid night and he was floating around in the dark and didn't hear it!..."

'Take no notice, it's only the poltergeist. He does it for attention.'

Dracula Flipping Frankenstein a Bat

No Guts. No Gory

"We're not the type of ghosts he's afraid of. It's ghosting from the person he met on that dating site that he's afraid of."

"Not 'texting,' Ma'am. 'Hexing' while driving."