Spooky Soul Pillows

Monster Horrorscopes

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Home depot."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

Get crazy once in a while

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Fly fishing.

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

Classic Emojis for sale.

Beware of balloon dog.

'That one's going to be a klutz.'

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

In case of funky emergency, break glass

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

'Sure, I am usually old and wise, but with you my boy, I just love to be silly!'

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

Like, Real Gone...

'Isn't this marvelous? True love and we haven't lost our milk teeth yet!'

'I have to disappoint you Mrs Robinson, today is not Halloween.'

Man and Tree - I need a hug.

Balloon Dog love

"I want to make it with you."

Through the Looking Glass-King's Messenger in Prison