Spontaneous Laughter Seeker Pillows

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"That'll be five bucks."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"OMG, LOL!"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"What did Jesus order?"

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"Projectile hairballing."

Drunk Barber

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

Football heads...

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

Bald Man Overcomb

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

Well, that was a total waste of time!