Vicarious Laugh Seeker Pillows

Comedy Vicar Competition

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"That'll be five bucks."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"Projectile hairballing."

"What did Jesus order?"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

Drunk Barber

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Hey! Get back here!"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

Bald Man Overcomb

Jerk Gene

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Football heads...

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

Ask Sadie

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'