Spiritual Multitasker Pillows

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Hassled Mother.

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Studying and technology

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Homeschooling

"You wouldn't believe how many patients he sees in a single day!"

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

Having It All

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

"What?!"

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

'I'm a communication expert because I can eat crisps, drink beer, read the news and talk to my wife while watching TV!'

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'