Mindful Multitasker Pillows

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Hassled Mother.

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Studying and technology

"You wouldn't believe how many patients he sees in a single day!"

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

"If anyone can balance a career with motherhood and state-sponsored terrorism, it's Jeannie."

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

Piano eight hands.

Multitasking.

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

One Man Band

"Hey Ma, Timmy's please..."

Exhausted mother holds up 'Off Duty' sign.

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

"Singing cowboy AND notary public"

'Yes, yes, I get the symbolism, Mr. Sanchez. You can wear many hats. Very clever.'

Busy woman

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

I'd clean this place up in 10 minutes. Yeah right. What's that you say? I fold laundry in my sleep. You're talking crazy to a man who can hem his wife's stockings while baking bread. Listen up close. Before my wife got home today, I scrubbed the bathroom tile, made a peach pie, sent out thank-you notes, fixed the kids grilled cheese and repotted the begonia. Now what do you think of that, pansy!? How liberated men compete. Don't make me knit something! I will get busy on you with a dust buster.

Ballerina drying her laundry

Sorry, still got my 'raising kids' head on...

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking!'

On Weekdays. . . On Weekends

"I just have time to make some toast, analyze its particle sizes, its density, its chemisorption..."