Ambitious Multitasker Pillows

One Man Band

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Hassled Mother.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

Soccer kids texting

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Homeschooling

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Studying and technology

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

"You wouldn't believe how many patients he sees in a single day!"

Having It All

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"What?!"

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

'I'm a communication expert because I can eat crisps, drink beer, read the news and talk to my wife while watching TV!'

Piano eight hands.