Ambitious Multitasker Prints

One Man Band

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Hassled Mother.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

Overloaded with extracurricular activities, Griffin's body began to grow an extra brain to cope with it all.

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

Soccer kids texting

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Homeschooling

Studying and technology

"You wouldn't believe how many patients he sees in a single day!"

Having It All

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"What?!"

The Swiss Arm-y Wife

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

'I'm a communication expert because I can eat crisps, drink beer, read the news and talk to my wife while watching TV!'

OK, so maybe we've all overscheduled our kids a little.

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

'He's trying to put three kids through college.'