Spiritual Journeymen Gifts

"To find out if God exists let's ask an expert."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Oh, crap.'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

"Do you have an appointment?"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"Show off."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

All we have in life is this moment...

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'Have you been working out?'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."