Spiritual Finance Enthusiast Gifts

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

New Age Office Supplies Catalog.

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'What's the difference between exchange-traded derivatives and swaps?'

"Fiscal conservatism be damned. I'm a fiscal hedonist."

'Remember son: not a borrower but a lender be.'

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

Past Performance in No Guarantee of Future Results.

Buddha Statue: Buy Low, Sell High, Stay Diversified.

"What grade would you like - basic, better or best?"

"I spent all last year totally paralyzed with indecision about a career - isn't that some kinda tax deduction?"

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

'Sell during a boom; buy during a bust - that sounds more like Warren Buffett instead of Buddha.'

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

How to bare up in a bare market.

Vending Machine: Epiphanies... Now in six yummy varieties!

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

'Not a good time to ask for more allowance. They're discussing the national debt.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'the Dow is up'?"

'I'd say my client's position was more agitated than distressed.'

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

"Do you want to add something about not trying to time the market?"

'We found the trouble Mr. Spencer. Your credit is no good!'

"Why do you want to invest in oil futures?"

'Son, it's time I told you about the bears and the bulls.'