Religious Finance Enthusiast Gifts

Collection plate at church with signs of the credit cards the church will take.

"You call this a constitution?"

"OMG, LOL!"

Dogma

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Please take your receipt!'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

A woman in prayer

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Om and Ommer

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

Nativity - The sitcom