Spider Symphony Gifts

"God bless you. Now, put on your bloody mask!"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Extreme Bungy

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

Musical Web

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Spider's Web Trampoline

Want the wings as an appetizer?

OMG UR HOT

"Ding" "Dong"

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

Double bass in space

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

La Jolla School of Advanced Music Graduate Frank Kettleknyper played a mello cello.

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'Reserved' (presumably for little miss muffet)

'I want to know where this relationship is going.'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

"Arachnophunnies"

Spider Exhibit. It says spiders can have hundreds of children at the same time. No wonder they climb the walls! (Published originally on July 23, 2002.)

A spider meal prepping

'I'm just surfing the web.'

Spider watching his web cam.

'You've been drinking again.'