Spider Enthusiasm Gifts

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

Dinner at the Trapdoors

The Amazing Man-Spider

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Extreme Bungy

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

"Sorry, Pal. Sometimes nature's not very pretty."

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

Spider's Web Trampoline

Jackson Pollock the Spider

Want the wings as an appetizer?

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'Are we there yet?'

'I want you to bring me one.'

Spider Web Stocking

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

OMG UR HOT

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Looks like the soup comes with flies.'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

Spider boy

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

Spider Press-Ups

"I won't bring any more friends home unless you let me play with them first!"

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'