Spider Enthusiasm T-Shirts

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

Dinner at the Trapdoors

The Amazing Man-Spider

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

Extreme Bungy

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

"Sorry, Pal. Sometimes nature's not very pretty."

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

OMG UR HOT

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

Spider Web Stocking

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Spider's Web Trampoline

'I want you to bring me one.'

'Looks like the soup comes with flies.'

'Are we there yet?'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

Spider boy

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"I won't bring any more friends home unless you let me play with them first!"

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'