Spendthrift Chuckler Gifts

'I warned you, Dr. Jekyll. It was a bad idea to give an additional credit card to Mr. Hyde.'

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

The Big Four debate banking ethics

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

'We have to move again -- I've worn out all the banks in town.'

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

Sod orf, midges...

"If the best things in life are free why does it always cost me money to feel good?"

With more and more graduates defaulting on college loans, many loan companies have hired undercover hecklers!

'I know the zoo had cutbacks but this is ridiculous!'

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

'Parties, discoteques, pubs... It's hard enough spending all your money without me having to earn it first'!

"Honestly, I think this was a waste of money."

Be flamboyant-today living within your means is mucking-up the economy.

'Time's up, chuckles.'

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"The preceding PBS program was funded by do-gooders...not by freeloaders like yourself."

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"... Oh, he's the fastest in the west alright... The fastest out of the saloon when it's his round!"

'If this prescription doesn't help, go to Maggie Brown's party next week. There'll be a specialist there.'

'...and I promise not to make any rash promises...OOPS!'

'He said the secret to happiness is to accumulate as much money as possible, by any means, and spend it wildly. I can't believe I've been on the right path all along.'

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.

'I gave at the office.'

Do you have a 'back from holiday' loan?

'Stay away from her.. she can go through your allowance fast.'

"Oh, that's my Uncle Walter. He wanted his head cryogenically frozen, but it was way too expensive!"

'Thank goodness Robert Green deflected attention.'