Speedy Golfer Gifts

'I only have 45 minutes to play golf today. Instead of a cart, I'll be riding my bike. I should get all 18 holes in.'

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Golf lessons

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

A man plays golf by the sea

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

The Amateur Golfer

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Runner Bean...

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'Don't move.'

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

Hole in forty-seven.

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

"Thank you."

'Birdie.'

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

"Duh!"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

"It's a special golf bag for beginners - It has a built-in GPS."

'Putter'.

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

'Where's your other glove?'

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

It's my golf night out with the boys!

Luckily I hit the pin!