Speedy Golfer Pillows

'I only have 45 minutes to play golf today. Instead of a cart, I'll be riding my bike. I should get all 18 holes in.'

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Golf lessons

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

A man plays golf by the sea

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

The Amateur Golfer

Runner Bean...

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

'Don't move.'

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

Hole in forty-seven.

'Birdie.'

"Thank you."

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

"Duh!"

"It's a special golf bag for beginners - It has a built-in GPS."

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

'Putter'.

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

'Where's your other glove?'

It's my golf night out with the boys!

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Luckily I hit the pin!