Speech Therapy Specialist Pillows

"Tell me about your speech loss."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Dialogue

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"A haand gel...!?"

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

What's the big surprise? All the latest theories of linguistics say we're born with the innate capacity for generating sentences.

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

"There's nothing wrong with her. With e-mail, texting and tweeting, she just hasn't needed to learn to talk."

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

'Just my luck, a talking dog with a stutter.'

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"